Loving Torny

She came into my life on a STORMY Saturday afternoon in September 2000. We had seen her running through the neighborhood - up and down the street - head hanging down against the rain that was pelleting the streets she was trotting through - and the yards of the homes on those streets. We had a beagle already - Sunshine, and my neighbor saw this poor little dog running and called to tell me, ' your dog has gotten out and is running up and down the street'. I told him that no, my dog was in the back yard, I was looking right at her. (actually she was inside, on the recliner - remember, it was STORMY outside). So we knew there was another little beagle on the loose! Later that same afternoon, my son Keith (who was 10 years old at the time) came running in and said, 'mom, there's that little dog..come look!'...sure enough she was passing in front of the house - head still down, trying to figure out where to go - covered in rain and mud. He said 'we have to bring her inside'. I told him that we could put her in the back yard and we'd have to be sure she was okay before we let her around Sunshine, who at the time was about 4 years old. We opened the front door and called to the poor little thing. She came over - slinking across the grass, still head down, apparently grateful that SOMEONE was going to help her. I scooped her up in a beach towel, brought her inside and immediately put her IN THE BACKYARD (in the rain). The lightning flashed and Keith was so afraid she'd be struck by lighting that I brought her inside. Took her straight into the bathroom and put her in a tub of warm water. I swear you could hear her 'sigh' when she got into that tub. We cleaned her up, dryed her off, and introduced the two. When Keith's dad got home (he had gone to a Carolina game) both 'girls' met him at the door...tails just a'waggin! He looked down, and asked,' who is this?' I told him Sunshine was having a friend sleep over and we didn't know who she was but that she was not going back outside. Both girls found their places on the recliner - one sleeping lengthwise along the extended footrest (Sunshine) and the other sleeping across the seat with her chin resting on the armrest (Stormy). This was how they slept....for years, until we had to get rid of the chair. We called around to our neighbors to see if anyone was missing their dog, and my neighbor across the street (Carol) said the people two doors down from them HAD a beagle, and she might be theirs. So, I left them a note. Apparently they had gone away for the weekend and LEFT THE DOG IN THE BACK YARD. The gate had gotten open and she had gotten out. Nice people, eh?? On Sunday night they finally called. Came over, took a look at her, and said that she was their dog, her name was Purdy (from 101 Dalmations, I think) and they had gotten her from the pound for their kids. But, she also said they were CAT PEOPLE and the children really didn't play with her, so if I wanted her, I could have her. And she handed me the paperwork she had for her and left. Just like that....'YOU CAN HAVE HER IF YOU WANT'. Are you kidding me? That very day we changed her name to Stormy and she and Sunshine were just the best of friends. They would chase each other all thru the house - around and around, over chairs, under tables, until they were out of breath. My weather girls. Sunshine (Sunny Girl, Sunspot, Pot Girl, or Pot) and Stormy (Torny, Storm Chaser, Torn One, Mommy's Little Angel)... Sunny passed away in 2008 as the result of being attacked by one of our other dogs, who we think was nuts. By this time we had another dog too - Buster - he showed up out front pretty much the same way. He passed away in October from Lymphoma. He was such a good boy. Stormy was just a wonderful girl - a typical, passive beagle. She loved to sleep. LOVED IT. And she loved dirt. Fresh dirt. If I was working in the yard, planting, I could dig the hole and turn to get the plant to put in the hole and there she was - lying on the dirt I just dug out. If you gave her treats, she'd chew them maybe for a bit, then find a spot to bury them in THE DIRT and dig them up later to eat when they were all nasty. She would tap on the door to go out, and tap on the door to come back in. She loved treats, hated a bath and would shake with fear the whole time she was in the tub. She liked being dirty, I think. Torny was never sick, except for a bout of pancreatitis in 2010, from which she eventually recovered. We moved to a new house in October of 2012 and I remember when we put her inside for the first time, she stood there, shivering, and looking around. She was terrified. Where was her house? Where was her yard? She adapted though...had no choice. As the years passed and she aged, she slowed down. Lost her hearing and had cataracts in one eye. She could no longer hear you if you called her - you had to wave your hands where she could see you. And no more running, or chasing. She used to hop up in the wing chair in the bedroom - that's where she slept. At least until she could no longer jump up. She liked to scratch her back - all the time you could see her outside rubbing her backside against the shrubs - you could see them moving. Back and forth she would go, with an up-and-down motion to scratch her itch. She'd run back and forth against the bedskirts, or the sofa front - anything to scratch herself, You could always tell because the bedskirts would have a line of dirt of them. What I wouldn't give to have that just one more time.... In most recent months, she slept on her little doggy bed that Santa brought her - topped with a fleece throw with a fall-leaf pattern. My girl.... We noticed that she had bad hips - she had always had hip dysplasia and would bunny-hop up the steps. Did this all her life, so I just knew it was part of the 'getting old' process. Then she started to hack and cough - not much, but a little. Still, eating well, drinking well and sleeping well. In this new house, there is an upstairs that she could not visit - couldn't and wouldn't climb the stairs. At night if she needed to go out and we could not hear her, she would wet on the rug nearest the door that she could not figure out how to open. On Friday, she seemed winded and short of breath. I told Paul, my husband, that it just didn't look right and I was concerned. We took her to the Emergency Vet, unaware that we would not be bringing her back home. I had no idea. The vet checked her over, did xrays and gave us the grim diagnosis - Torny has thyroid cancer which had already spread to her liver and her lungs, Apparently a fast growing cancer; one that we would have been unaware of until the later stages. Oh My God - my baby is terminally ill and I didn't even KNOW? I hold myself responsible. Had I taken her more regularly for check ups and paid closer attention to the subtle changes, might there have been a way to save her? I just had lost Buster to lymphoma in October and maybe sub-consciously I chose to ignore if there was something. Denial, maybe? The vet this weekend assured me that could not be the case. In my heart, I just don't know. Torny left us yesterday afternoon at 4 pm, after being on oxygen for most of the weekend. Her condition had deteriorated so rapidly after we got her there on Friday night that she could even breathe without it. They presented chemo as an option, but knowing that if we did that, it would only prolong the inevitable, and given her age and the fact that I just could not do that to her - put her through all of that knowing she would not survive this even after being put through all the treatments, we opted to let her go. That was the HARDEST decision I ever had to make. I mean, this is my baby. We took her bed and her fleece throw, and put her on it - I got beside her and had my arms around her (as I always did). She was breathing hard as they had taken her out of the oxygen by this time; when I cuddled her and she realized she was ON HER BED, she quieted down. We spent time with her, taking pictures, loving her, talking to her (even though she most likely couldn't hear uss) and I told her that she was very sick and was going to be going to heaven and be with Sunny and Buster. I told her how much I love her, and I told her to never forget me/us and to wait there for me. In time, I would see her again. The end came quite peacefully - she drifted off to sleep with my arms around her. In that same state, she crossed the Rainbow Bridge at 4 pm. Just took one last breath and that was IT. Never struggled; and her fight was over. She is happy, healthy and young again. No more bad hips, no more coughing or shortness of breath. She and Sunshine are chasing each other again...... And me, I am left with this HUGE void that is her. A profound emptiness, a heavy heart and a sadness beyond belief. Torny, I miss you more than I can even describe. I'll never stop loving you and will never get over the loss that IS the absence of your physical presence in my life. Wait for me at the bridge. I'll be there one day to get you. Mommy loves you.