Winds of Change

My last post was about loving and losing Stormy (Torny), my 13 year old beagle and she was my heart. Since October, I have endured three major losses. The first, Buster, my Shar-Pei succumbed to complications from lymphoma after enduring 6 long months of chemo. He passed away in my arms at the vet on October 29, 2912. Then, I lost my mom - she passed away the day after Christmas after a long battle with dementia. Lastly, I lost Stormy on March 10 - didn't even know she was sick and had to make a choice I had hoped never to make - to put her down. This last loss was just too much and I wondered if I could rebound for a third time. Just too much loss in such a short smount of time. Paul and I are contemplating CHANGE. It's time. We are uncertain as to WHERE we will be, but we have a place in mind - and God willing (and the creek don't rise) we will make a positive change for US. Long overdue - it's time we had something to look forward to. A fresh start. A new perspective. New sscenery and a change of heart. If certain things work out and it is meant to be.. Life goes on. We mourn those we lost, while we love them always, and each new day brings fresh hope for a wonderful new beginning.... Stay tuned.....

Hanging in There.....

My last post was nearly 2 months ago.  In that post, I disclosed our Buster Boy's illness, his lymphoma.  We since have found another vet, who seemed to think he would benefit from chemotherapy and who assured us that dogs don't react to chemo the same way humans do.  This vet is in Blythewood, which for us is quite a long trip.  So, once a week, Buster and I load into the car and I take him to the vet, sign him in as a 'stay for the day' and then I drive into downtown for work; in the afternoon, I go back and pick him up.  He started his chemotherapy regimen on April 30.  About 10 days into it, he developed a fever, and we had to give him antibiotics.  Basically what happens is the chemo wipes out his white blood cells, which are needed to fight infection.   The massive doses of chemicals that flooded his little body left him unable to fight the elevated temps.  So, he spent the night at the vet, got antibiotics, and came home.  He's had another week or so of treatments, then this past Monday when I went to pick him up, she (the vet) said his white blood cells were too low to give the treatment.  We go back tomorrow and hopefully he will be able to have it then.  His lymph nodes had virtually disappeared, but now I can feel them again - not terribly large, but still....

I hope this all is not uncomfortable for him.  He appears happy and his appetite is beyond good.  He will eat ANYTHING you give him.  Doesn't chew it, just swallows it!  But he always did that.  I guess as long as he's eating well, we have to be thankful. 

Let's hope tomorrow brings good news.  I'm so tired of bad news.  I just want more time with him.  And he wants more time with us.  Let's hope we can have that.

On a positive note, we have our house on the market.  So far, only 2 people have looked at it and neither of them were impressed.  Our listing does not expire until August.  I hope we find the right person to want our home.  We put our heart and soul into it and whoever buys it will get a wonderful home.  If it doesn't sell, well then I guess we will figure that out at the time. 

I am working downtown now - five days a week.  Every day I spend nearly 2 hours in the car.  Already I am tired of that.  I wish I was close enough to be able to go home for lunch.  And spend time outside...in the yard.  At the same time, I am fortunate to have a good job.  I am thankful.

We have a long weekend coming up.  Memorial Day weekend - the 'jumping off point' for summer.  I am so ready.  Ready to fire up the grill, sit back with a cocktail and just BE...

Happy Holiday, everyone!!

He's sick.  Our Buster boy is sick.  Very sick.  Last week we decided to take him to the vet because he has this skin problem - he has allergies and if he gets bitten by a flea, he scratches, and bites and his skin gets all scaly and his fur becomes oily, and in places it falls out - well, he acutally CHEWS it out.

So, last Friday I was petting him and I felt his jaw - and it was SWOLLEN.  Like his glands.  We got an appointment, and Paul took him to see the vet.  They put him on prednisone for his skin, and antibiotics for his ears (he also had an ear infection), and they ran a test to check on the swollen glands.

The vet called me on Monday afternoon to tell me the test results came back as lymphoma.  Buster has lymphoma.  Basically, he has cancer.  Our Buster has cancer.

I've had dogs off and on my entire life and this is the first time I have ever had one with this disease.  A dear friend's dog succumbed to lymphoma last year (or maybe it was the year before) and that was the first I'd ever even HEARD of lymphoma in dogs.

The vet said it is very common and is incurable.  Without treatment, the pet may live a few months at best.  With treatment (depending on what KIND of treatment), they survive for a longer period of time.  Now here's the dilemma.  We have had another test run to determine how far advanced this is.  We do not have those results yet.  Depending on what they show, we have one of two options - we can keep him on massive doses of prednisone (steroids) to keep him comfortable and hope for the best - knowing he probably won't be around too much longer.  OR we can opt for chemotherapy, which is very invasive (as is all chemo) and costly and may buy us more time with our sweet boy.

We weren't even going to do the test (called staging - to determine the stage the cancer is in) but the other night during a terrible storm, Buster was so scared he climbed up onto the couch and curled up behind me, laid his head on my side and licked my hand while looking at me with tears in his eyes.  I held him and his shaking stopped...it was as if he was telling me,  'please help me, mom'.....I don't want to die.

In that moment I knew we had to do all we could to give our boy more time.

As of right now, we're still uncertain of what the future holds - we won't know until the vets calls again with an update - after the test results come back again.

We're hoping for a miracle.